Resolving

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New Year’s resolutions are hard. It’s hard to set up expectations and then, maybe, not meet them. Last year, I had this idea that I would take on a different daily challenge every month, starting with running every day in January. I did that one, and blogged about it too. I think I kind of ran out of things to say about running after a week, and while I enjoyed the running itself, for the most part, it kind of burned me out on running for a little while and on the entire concept of daily challenges for pretty much the rest of the year. Which is obviously not what I wanted.
I did still write a (terrible) book in November, though, so that’s something.
My point is, I can easily get myself into this kind of lose-lose situation where, if I fail at a resolution, I am a self-evident failure, but if I succeed at my resolution, I kill the fun it once had. I don’t want either of those things. I’ve already failed at one resolution, which was to use this app called “1 Second Everyday” to compile a year-long video of tiny snippets of my life. What I’ve learned, just one week in, is that my life is super-boring, and hardly anything happens worth recording on video or, if it does, I’ve missed it by the time I think back on it.
So I don’t know if I’m really making any “resolutions” this year. I may set some goals, but I still harbour a deep-seated dislike of that word, too. I remember “motivational” talks during my school days where people would harp on about setting goals, but offer neither guidance on what kinds of goals to set, nor advice on how to reach your goals once they were set.
So far, I’m just making more time for reading and for writing software – I already knocked together something to help balance our credit card with our budgeting bank accounts – but beyond that, I’m leaving 2016 a bit nebulous. Maybe I’ll try to blog more. Maybe I’ll try to have more fun on some given days. I’ve always wanted to be more fun and less like a metallic automaton. Maybe I’ll try to smile more at strangers on the street. I’ll keep trying to keep in touch with my friends and family more than I usually do, but as an introvert who’s always starting the conversation, that one is both exhausting and kind of anxiety-inducing. Am I bothering people too much? Probably. But this is what humans do, isn’t it? Just text each other to stay in touch? Why can’t I do that easily? What’s wrong with me?
Maybe, as the big, overarching goal, I should just try to give myself a break more often. Little failures don’t have to get me down. Misunderstandings, missteps, buying the wrong sort of whatever, doesn’t have to be the end of the world, or even the end of my good mood for the day. If I need to be more relaxed about life, then this is a good principle to keep in my mind.

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4 thoughts on “Resolving

  1. bronnyc81

    Well, I have to say friend, that you do actually randomly keep in touch more than any other friend I have. I do find that I get a little random joy when I see that you have randomly sent me a “hey, how are you?” message.
    Also,

    • It makes me very happy to hear that. 🙂 It still feels awkward to keep reaching out to people just so my Real Human Friend relationships don’t disintegrate from disuse, but it’s good to know that it’s spreading just a little positivity.

  2. bronnyc81

    New Years resolutions are a crock of doo doo.
    It’s great to start the year with a new leaf or new idea about who you will be, but resolutions are set up to fail from the beginning.
    How do you think so many treadmills are sold each January

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